"Natural Cesarean"

If there was possibly something that could be called a "natural cesarean" it would be this. Check out this story. This seems like a perfect solution to those times when a cesarean is deemed necessary. I don't think I would have had any 'issues' if this is how Samuel's delivery ended up. Hopefully, one day it will be like this for all women who have cesareans.

Confessions of a CF Husband

I have been following this family for about a month now. I was told about them through our friends Patience and Jordan. I've never met this family before, but when another woman is pregnant, no matter if you know her or not, you somehow feel a bond with her immediately. God is simultaneously working a miracle in both of our bodies. That's a hard common denominator to avoid.

This family is facing many difficult situations. The wife has cystic fibrosis and they just had to have an emergency c-section of their 24 week old baby due to the overwhelming complications the pregnancy was causing. Through many many miracles, both of them are living proof of God's amazing power! I am daily reminded of how much he cherishes life when I look at a picture of this little girl. The father and husband has been blogging through this entire journey. Since the birth of their little girl they have had over 450,000 hits on their blog. Each and every one of those hits represent one way in which this family is touching a life.

Please join me in prayer for this family. They love the LORD with everything they have and are praising him through each and every moment. Their faith is so inspiring. I could only pray that I would have as much courage as they have during such a trying time.

Bible / Scripture Verses for Labor and Delivery

A few months ago I read this list of Scripture verses on a blog from a woman who had a homebirth and I just loved the idea. She wrote them on index cards and read through them during her labor. I am going to be adding to the list as I find other verses that speak to me. I thought I would share this list for those of you who would enjoy them for your birth as well.

Isaiah 40:11
He tends his flock like a shepherd:
He gathers the lambs in his arms
and carries them close to his heart;
he gently leads those that have young.

Psalm 5:3
In the morning, O LORD,
you hear my voice;
in the morning
I lay my requests before you
and wait in expectation.

Phillipians 2:13
For it is God who works in you to will and to act according to his good purpose.

Proverbs 3:5&6
Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding;

Hebrews 13:5b-6
God has said, "Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you." So we say with confidence, "The Lord is my helper; I will not be afraid. What can man do to me?"

Psalm 91:2
I will say of the LORD, "He is my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust."

Psalm 33:20-22
We wait in hope for the LORD;
he is our help and our shield.
In him our hearts rejoice,
for we trust in his holy name.
May your unfailing love rest upon us,
O LORD, even as we put our hope in you.

Psalm 139: 13-16
For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother's womb.
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.
My frame was not hidden from you
when I was made in the secret place.
When I was woven together in the depths of the earth,
your eyes saw my unformed body.
All the days ordained for me
were written in your book
before one of them came to be.

Psalm 46:10
Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.

Philippians 4:19
And my God will meet all your needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus.

Isaiah 26:3
You will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast, because he trusts in you.

Philippians 4:12-13
I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry,
whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through him who gives me strength.

Psalm 124:8
Our help is in the name of the LORD, the Maker of heaven and earth.

Psalm 62:1-2
My soul finds rest in God alone;
my salvation comes from him.
He alone is my rock and my salvation;
he is my fortress,
I will never be shaken.

Isaiah 40:31
But those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.

Falling Into Place

We had a meeting with our midwife this past Saturday. Things are going very well. Joseph is head down and seems to already be pretty low, yay! He is facing my back, which is the most ideal position. Samuel was never anterior, so we are already ahead of that game.

Penny has been in contact with our local hospital making preparations in case we need to transfer. They have been extremely supportive, which is just incredibly rare for hospitals to support homebirths. The midwife that works with the doctor I saw, before I decided on a homebirth, actually use to have her own homebirth practice! She is super excited that there is a homebirther in the area. Then Penny also talked with the OB manager of the whole maternity ward and she was very supportive as well. She has attended many homebirths and said it was a great way to go. I was just shocked to hear this news. Just another issue taken care of before I even committed it to serious prayer.

Both of these issues have been lingering in my mind as possible hindrances to a positive birth. For one, Samuel, was never in a great position for birth, and I did not have the knowledge myself or the help from doctors to help in turning him. This time, I have the knowledge, but it doesn't seem like I will have to worry about his position. What a blessing.

And, also the transfer issue. I am in no way opposed to having to transfer to the hospital if something were to come up that only could be taken care of there. It was just the idea of being treated poorly by doctors and nurses who do not agree with homebirths and having to deal with their lack of support. Knowing that I'm going into a situation where two of my biggest fears have already been eliminated makes me feel that much more comfortable attempting this homebirth.

I have no idea what the outcome of this will be, but I am continually encouraged by God that he is pleased with this decision. We will continue to seek his will the entire time and pray that we will have the clarity of thought to do what he wants of us. From the beginning, we have never been trying to prove anything to anyone, all we have wanted is to obey God and do what he wants of us. And for right now, attempting a homebirth is what we believe he wants.

Make Room For More

There are a few things that I did with Samuel as an infant, that I am certain I will change while parenting Joseph. One of those is letting him sleep with us more. Samuel slept with me often, but not all the time. Since Andy wasn't there, I felt like it was a good idea. But now that Andy is home, I didn't originally think I would let Joseph sleep with us. After talking with both the Lord and Andy about this, and doing some more research, I have decided that letting Joseph sleep with us is the best for all of us. We've heard the argument about rolling over on him, but that's pretty impossible when he's sleeping in this, which is what we use. It's called a Snuggle Nest, that can be found here. The benefits far outweigh any cons that we might face.

Here is a great article I came across:

Dr. Lamport Commons, PhD
Department of Psychiatry, Harvard Medical Center

“We’re very in favor of co-sleeping, because it greatly reduces the stress that infants are exposed to when they sleep along. When a parent is sleeping down the hall and responds slowly or not at all when their baby cries, the baby’s brain releases stress hormones. And, there’s increasing evidence that this changes the physiology of how the baby will handle stress for the rest of his life -- it actually damages the brain.

SIDS Safety
Yes, there’s evidence that SIDS and suffocation can happen during co-sleeping, but there’s a simple remedy -- don’t put the infant unelevated between you. Put him on a hard pillow, raise him up, and you can’t roll onto him. These problems are so, so rare anyways, and tend to happen when a parent is obese or having alcohol problems. And actually, in the case of SIDS, there is in fact research that shows sleeping next to an adult helps babies breathe better. So while the risk of getting rolled onto may be increased, risk of SIDS in fact decreases with co-sleeping.

Stress Reliever
Infants are born helpless, and they’re not able to do anything other than cry for the first three or four months. So, when you’re co-sleeping, you can respond to the crying immediately. And you don’t have to wake up – you can feed and do all sorts of things while you’re half asleep. The parents sleep better and are less stressed, and when parents are less stressed, so is their baby. In most non-modern cultures, people aren’t so stressed out about the whole thing.

Human Nature
Humans evolved like most mammals -- the infants sleep with the parents. We develop such elaborate routines to try and get babies to sleep at night in their own beds. They can go on for hours and hours, and often don’t work -- the babies don’t go to sleep easily, and are much more wakeful than if they were securely next to a parent. And, you see that around age two, when babies are more mobile, there’s something I call the migration back to the parent’s bed. They climb out of their crib by themselves and get in with their parents. And of course, that’s just what they should do!

The Sex Issue
People are worried about the kids viewing sex, but there’s really no evidence that it has any effect on children. We forget that we have a pretty long evolutionary history in which groups often slept together, and children were exposed to sex and any number of other things we now try to protect them from. Honestly, most babies will sleep through it. They’re like cats and dogs – they don’t care. There’s no evidence that if a baby wakes up he’d be disturbed, but most babies won’t even wake up in a place they feel comfortable.

Simple Solution
I don’t know what the disadvantages are! You’ll sleep better, your baby will sleep better, and if you’re less tired, you’re less cranky and are better at interacting with the baby during the day. People complain all the time about how they’re exhausted. And why are they so tired? Because they’re not sleeping with their kids!"

Dr. Michael Lamport Collins, Ph.D. is an assistant clinical professor in the Department of Psychiatry at Harvard Medical School. Dr. Patrice Marie Miller, Ed.D. is a clinical instructor in the Department of Psychiatry at Harvard Medical School, and a professor in the Department of Psychology at Salem State College.

More Prepartions

Aside from the list of birthing supplies, I need to start getting a list together of all of the other things I'm going to need to have done before Joseph's arrival. Here goes:

Get carseat
Have carseat installed
Figure out where his changing table will go
Make room for his clothes somewhere, either get a new dresser or share Samuel's.
Get infant cloth diapers out and washed
Get infant clothes out and washed
Make his baby quilt

I have some high sewing aspirations as well, but I won't be upset if I don't get to them:
Sew some baby slings to carry him around in
Sew some baby wraps with velcro to keep him wrapped up in in bed.
Figure out how to make some sort of slipper for him.

Preparing for the Birth

Now that the holidays are over, I can fully focus on this birth. Penny gave me a whole list of stuff that would be helpful to have on hand during the delivery and for soon after. I've gotta get cracking on getting this stuff ready.

To Buy List:
Witch hazel - GOT
Hydrogen Peroxide - GOT
Mattress protection - ORDERED
Birthing pool - ORDERED
Water hose
faucet adapter
Waterproof floor protector - GOT
Fish net - GOT
Heating pad - GOT
Pads - GOT
Peri bottle - ORDERED
Peri-cold compresses - ORDERED
Foot printer - ORDERED

Have Handy and Enough Of:
Laundry soap
Trash bags
Small crock pot
Ice
Paper towels
Several blankets
Several receiving blankets
Several towels
Several washrags
Baby hats
Diapers
Thermometer
Large bowl
Flashlight
Sports drinks
Comfort items - cds, candles, etc.
Camera
Video camera
FOOD!

Will We or Won't We...

This article has nothing to do with pregnancy or birth, but it has everything to do with sex and marriage. Marriage is under attack and needs to be preserved and kept sacred. If you are married, I encourage you to read this article in its entirety. I promise you will be challenged, but in a good way.

Will We or Won't We …
Who holds the real power in your sex life?
by Gary Thomas

John and I stopped at a fast-food restaurant for a quick meal on the way to his farm. My friend had one of the "cleanest" sexual pasts of any man I've ever met; on the day he married, the only woman other than his bride he'd ever kissed was his mom.

The young man taking our order noticed that both of us had on wedding rings.

"You both have wives?" he asked.

"Yes," we replied.

"Tell me, is it true what they say—that your sex life gets better after you're married?"

John choked a bit on this one. "Mine sure did!" he said, without explaining that he'd never even had a sex life apart from marriage.

"It's tough being single," the young man shot back. "I'll tell you this much: I know I'm not getting any tonight."

I know I'm not getting any tonight.

This may be the quintessential statement of our culture on sexuality: Am I "getting any," or not?

Imagine how offensive this must be to our Creator God, who established sexuality as a gift. When a couple conducts their lives according to God's good plan, sex becomes an exclusive gift that the couple will share with no other. God has given married men the opportunity and the ability to make their wives feel things no other man can ever make them feel; wives can touch their husbands in places and in ways that no other person will ever touch.

As a Christian spouse, you are the only person, biblically speaking, your spouse can go to in order to share this pleasurable yet also very holy experience. In other words, you hold a gift that your spouse can't receive from anyone else.

Spiritual sickness seeps into our marriages when we stop viewing sex as a gift we can give to our spouse, and start seeing it as a demand that must be met. By God's design, sex gives us a capacity to give to someone in a startlingly unique and human way. And yet sex remade in our own image is often used to take, to demand, to coerce, to shame, or to harm.

Most sexual problems in marriage aren't due to a lack of knowledge or mechanical skill; on the contrary, I think most of the problems between the covers are due to sinful selfishness. In this sense, virtue is the guardian of fulfilling sexual intimacy.

The problem of power
Since, biblically speaking, the only sex life my wife can enjoy is the sex life I choose to give her, anything I deny her, by definition, becomes an absolute denial, because she has no other outlet.

You know what this reality produces?

Power.

The stereotype is that husbands usually want sex more often than do their wives. There are valid physiological reasons for this. But I've talked to plenty of couples where it's actually the other way around, and the wife feels cheated by her husband's diminished desire. Whether it's the wife or husband who feels denied, one thing is almost always true: Whoever wants sex the least tends to have the most power in bed, because he or she possesses the absolute power of denial. And the old adage, "power corrupts, and absolute power corrupts absolutely" is particularly true in the bedroom.

If you're the spouse who holds the power, you're going to be tested spiritually. Will you use that power generously, or to manipulate? Will you use that power to demonstrate kindness, or to pay back your spouse for perceived slights?

The apostle John tells us how Jesus used power. He tells us that while "Jesus knew that the Father had put all things under his power" (John 13:3), instead of abusing that power, Jesus got up from the meal, wrapped a towel around his waist, and washed his disciples' feet, becoming a servant. Two of those feet, by the way, belonged to Judas—the man who was even then plotting to betray him. Yet Jesus still loved Judas in a very physical way, taking his perhaps smelly and certainly dusty feet into his lap and washing them with his own hands.

The sexual relationship within marriage gives us a tremendous opportunity for spiritual growth, to become generous and kind like Christ even in the face of others' unkindness. When we have power over another and we use that power responsibly, appropriately, and benevolently, whether they deserve it or not, we grow in Christ, we become more like God, and we reflect the fact that we were made to love God by serving others.

Too often, the sexual relationship is divorced from our faith experience; popular magazines tell us a fulfilling sexual relationship is all about passion, physical pleasure, performance, desire, and technical know-how. Although these elements are all important, they are also all secondary. God can use the sexual relationship to teach us how to serve our mates, and when we do that, we become like our Savior: "For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve" (Mark 10:45).

Ask yourself honestly, Is sex something I am demanding or offering? Is sex something I use as a tool of manipulation or as an expression of generous love? If God looked at nothing other than my sexuality, would he see me displaying the mature qualities of a growing believer in Jesus Christ, or would I look like some selfish, non-believing pagan?

Becoming a generous lover
The notion of becoming a generous lover not only changes how we address the frequency of sexual relations, it also challenges us to reconsider the thoughtfulness we put behind the quality of our sexual relationship. One wife once told me, "If my husband would just pray with me, he wouldn't be able to handle me in bed. He'd be crying 'Uncle!' long before the night was through!"

Guys, what she's saying is, "Before you touch my body, touch my soul." If sex is about giving, then our attitude toward our wives has to be cultivating a sexual experience that is fulfilling for her. Some husbands tell me, "I'd like to give the gift of sex to my wife, but she won't open the present!"

To them I ask, "Define sex."

They think I've lost my mind, but the point I'm trying to make is that what they think constitutes sex may be different from what their wives think constitutes sex. If I become selfish—crafting a sex life that is all about my fantasies, my desires, my preferences—I'm not giving to my wife, I'm using her.

To be a generous lover requires me to be a thoughtful one. It means I bend my desires around the primary call of meeting my wife's sexual needs.

In her book, Women in Jewish Law, Rachel Biale dispenses some good Christian advice: "The Halakhah [Jewish Law] confines the sexual drive of a man by harnessing it to the sexual rhythms and needs of his wife. Sexual abstention is mandated by the cycle of menstruation. Sexual activity is directed to fulfilling the mitzvah [obligation] of onah: meeting and responding to the sexual needs of the woman. The 'quiet' introverted sexuality of the woman circumscribes the active, extroverted sexuality of the man. It becomes the center and the regulating mechanism of the intimate marital relationship."

My wife's desires, needs, and preferences should become the "center and the regulating mechanism of the intimate marital relationship."

Can I be honest with you? Most couples I talk to have this principle roughly reversed. Because of selfishness, the sexual relationship often becomes all about "feeding the husband's beast." This only coddles selfishness, which ultimately breeds dissatisfaction for both the husband and the wife. Selfishness can't be satisfied; on the contrary it needs to be crucified. The only ultimately fulfilling sexual relationship must therefore be a virtuous one.

It would shock most Christian women to realize how many Christian men struggle with pornography. Part of the spiritual devastation of pornography is that it trains men to be selfish in bed. In God's world, Christian men will find their greatest pleasure in pleasuring their wives; that's the way God made us. When Jesus said, "It is better to give than to receive," although he may not have been specifically talking about sexual relations, it's as true in bed as it is out of it. There's nothing more fulfilling to a healthy Christian man than satisfying his wife. That's why pornography is so destructive to both husband and wife; it distorts expectations and directly assaults pure motivations.

So men, the challenge to become a generous lover means taking the time to find out your wife's needs, desires, and satisfactions. Don't assume you know it all; don't be too proud to listen if she's honest enough to tell how you could please her more. None of us are "born" good lovers; it's a skill we can grow in. You wouldn't take it personally if Tiger Woods gave you a few tips for your putting; don't take it personally if your wife loves you enough to tell you how to please her in bed. You'll find sexual health by spending all the time, energy, and money you used to consume hiding a covert sexual life (fantasies, pornography) to be creative in focusing on, and then meeting, your wife's sexual needs.

What does this mean for you women? Well, let me ask you this: When was the last time you put some serious thought, effort, and planning into a special sexual experience with your husband? If you're the only one he can be sexual with, are you making him glad he chose you, or are you taking that commitment for granted and maybe even using it against him, to make him pay for a perceived slight, rather than using it to bless and serve him?

In fact, would you be bold enough to ask the shocking question, "Am I good in bed?"

Good in bed
"Don't let this lawyerly façade fool you," Sandra Bullock warned Hugh Grant in the movie Two Weeks' Notice. "I'm actually really good in bed."

I was eating an airline dinner, flying somewhere over the Midwest, when I put on the headphones and caught this piece of dialogue. In a Christian worldview, a single person wouldn't know whether he or she was "good" in bed. But since I was stuck in an aluminum tube 30,000 feet above ground, I had plenty of time to think, and the movie's statement challenged me in another context.

When did I last ask myself whether I was good in bed? While it's a grave mistake to reduce sex to mere mechanics, the question can go much deeper: When did I last care about that question? Shame on me if a boyfriend puts more effort into pleasing his girlfriend (whose name he may not even remember in ten years' time) than I spend trying to pleasure my wife—who has committed her life to me and stood by me for more than two decades. If I accept the biblical truth that the only sex life my wife can enjoy is the sex life I choose to give her, then complacency in this area becomes cruel. I'm taking an incredible commitment for granted; I'm acting like her amazing fidelity—that she will keep herself only for me—is a gift of little value.

We have to fight against taking our spouse—and our sexual responsibilities—for granted. On the day we marry, we gain a monopoly of sorts. Our spouse commits to have sexual relations with no one else. Regardless of whether we act thoughtfully, creatively, or selfishly in bed, they receive only what we provide. Without any competition, some of us, quite frankly, simply stop making an effort. It's sheer laziness if I give less attention or care to the mother of my children than some 20-something kid gives to a young woman he met mere weeks ago. Rather than make us careless, this exclusivity should make us grateful and generous, and therefore even more eager to please our mate.

When did you last ask yourself, "Am I endeavoring to please my spouse in bed?" If we're slacking in this area, our spouses may not be able to do much about it—but we can, and should. Do I want to reward my wife's commitment to me, or do I want to make her regret it? Do I want to bless her, or take her for granted? Do I want to be a generous, enthusiastic lover, or a miser reluctantly doling out occasional "favors"?

When the Bible tells us in Hebrews 13:4 to keep the marriage bed "pure," the application goes far beyond avoiding physical acts of immorality to include inner virtue. How pure are our attitudes in bed? How generous and loving are our motivations? Do we bring the Spirit of Christ into our marital bed, or are we allowing selfishness to reign?

You may, like so many of us, wish you had a better body to give your spouse; you may lament your lack of skill, or the amount of energy you possess at the end of the day. But more important than these concerns—and even more of a blessing—is to earnestly become a generous lover, bringing the kindness of Christ to your spouse in a very physical and yes, pleasurable way. When we do that, our spouses will be blessed beyond measure—and so will we.

Gary Thomas, an MP regular contributor, is author of Sacred Influence: How God Uses Wives to Shape the Souls of Their Husbands (Zondervan). He and his wife, Lisa, have been married 23 years.

Copyright © 2007 by the author or Christianity Today International/Marriage Partnership magazine. Click here for reprint information on Marriage Partnership.
Winter 2007, Vol. 24, No. 4, Page 30

Watching Baby Grow

Here's Joseph and me, at 25 weeks.

Yoga and Christianity

Time and time again I have heard that yoga is a wonderful exercise for women who are pregnant. I have always wanted to do some research on it. I have never attended a yoga class so I cannot say how much or how little they all get into any spirituality, but I have definitely heard the warnings about dappling in meditation when you are not meditating on the Lord or His Word. I know most people would never even consider this as a threat to their faith, but since I found this article, I thought I would share it. It's worth considering if you are a Christian and are concerned with how you conduct yourself.

Here are few blurbs from an article I found:

“These are postures that are offered to the 330 million Hindu gods. Yoga postures really are; they are offerings to the gods. If you do these postures and you do this breathing technique and this meditation, then you will be accepted by a god, little “G.” That’s the real danger,” she said.

“Romans 12:1-2 says we are to offer our bodies as a living sacrifice to God,” added Laurette. “Here they are doing something very similar with these postures to their 330 million gods, and it is scary. So we abstain from things offered to idols—Acts 15:29.”

In yoga they do what they call pranayama breathing. Prana is the Hindu word for life force, the same concept as the word chi in some martial arts. Yoga breathing attempts to manipulate that life energy, which Laurette believes is perilous. “That is a dangerous thing,” she said, “because I think that we are coming out from under the blood of Jesus when we do stuff like that, and we are no match for the enemy in those areas. I think of what Paul said in Ephesians 2:2, that Satan is the prince of the power of the air. We are not talking about oxygen.”

A third area of concern in yoga is the concept of emptying the mind, which is contradictory to what Christianity teaches. As Laurette explained, “We are transformed by the renewing of our minds, not the emptying.”

Along with emptying the mind, yoga guides people into astral travel, which is where people actually leave their bodies, a practice that Laurette was familiar with and has since questioned. “I wonder with those experiences when I left my body what got in there when I was gone?” Laurette posed. “As a Christian with the Holy Spirit in there, we are not going to be possessed, I don’t think. But one could easily be oppressed.”

Clearly, with this understanding of yoga, Christians should think twice before heading to the local gym for a yoga class. But if you are a Christian who thinks it’s all right to attend yoga classes because you think you are strong enough not to fall prey to the spiritual deception that’s being taught and you enjoy the physical benefits, Laurette pleads in all seriousness that you to please consider a younger believer or weaker Christian who is watching your lifestyle. If you go to a yoga class, chances are they might be inspired to go also, and they could fall completely off track in their walk with God.

This gives me something to think about. Since I personally have never been taught how to properly 'meditate' the way the Hindu's do, I am naive to what their practices are. for me personally, I have decided that I can use some of these stretches to exercise without feeling like I am contradicting my faith. Instead of emptying my mind, I will choose to fill it with the Truth. My goal is that whatever I do, I do it for the glory of God. I Cor. 10:30-32