It's been 6 weeks since Joseph's arrival. It sure has flown.
Not once in the last 6 weeks have I regretted attempting a VBAC, or having a homebirth. I would do it again in a heartbeat if that is where the Lord leads us next time around... if there is a next time around, and hopefully there is! (I can't imagine this being our last child. I will be totally at peace if the Lord doesn't choose to bless us with another kid, but I just don't see that as being his will.)
I knew of all of the risks in attempting a VBAC and especially a homebirth, but I was willing to take them. Especially knowing that the Lord was the one to lead us to make this decision, not us trying to convince the Lord that this is what 'we wanted.' It was such an amazing experience knowing that we were in the Lord's will. I seriously feared the outcome if we were to disobey the Lord and have Joseph in a hospital. I felt very strongly that would have been more 'risky' than having Joseph at home.
Not once the entire day I was laboring did any one of us involved, Andy, the birthing assistances, or I question whether or not things were going to go smoothly. Penny, our midwife, said she had always felt such a huge sense of peace about our birth since the moment she met us and started caring for Joseph and me. It was such a good feeling knowing she felt the Lord's hand on us as well. I know she doesn't feel that way with every birth she assists.
Having Andy there for Joseph's birth was so special. Looking back on it, I just still can't believe Samuel was 20 weeks old before they even laid eyes on one another. Seeing Andy with Joseph is wonderful. He is such a terrific dad and husband. This birth very much in a way a healing experience from Samuel's birth and infancy. There were so many things we wished would have been different. Joseph's birth has healed those wounds and has allowed both of us a chance to learn and move on from those experiences.
Having a 19 month old and a brand new baby would seem like it would be quite a difficult situation. I would have imagined it to be exactly that. But, I keep forgetting that when Samuel was born I had about 3 weeks of help and then I was on my own. Now, I've got Andy here, which makes life so much easier. He has displayed a level of selflessness I could only dream of possesing one day.
We feel blessed beyond words to have these two boys to raise up in the Lord. It's a huge responsibility and we are not taking it lightly.
From everyone who has been given much, much will be demanded; and from the one who has been entrusted with much, much more will be asked. Luke 12:48
Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it. Proverbs 22:6Looking back on the past 4 months it's crazy to think of the transition of thought that has gone on. I would have never imagined I would be here, having experienced a homebirth, having obtained all of the knowledge of the truth about birth, it's risks, it's effects on mother and child, the truth about hospitals, water births (which was definitely the way to go) and trusting the Lord to truly lead us in all that we do. It has been a challenging journey. We have both grown so much. And, I also believe this journey has allowed others the opportunity to see God work.
I knew this journey was going to be worth documenting, no matter what the outcome, and it was. I knew the Lord placed the desire on my heart to write my experiences down through this blog for not only my benefit, but for many others as well. I know who some of those people are, but most I do not. I am convinced that the Lord was able to touch many women in a way that they needed to be touched. Thank you to all of the other women who are willing to open themselves up, share their hearts only to allow others to be encouraged by their words. I grew so much in this journey through other women's blogs. (It's a strange concept to imagine, but in this day and age, the internet is an amazing tool to link like minded people together and give them a way to encourage one another. Something that could not be done years ago.)
Thank you to all of you who have given us advice, encouragement, but especially those that have prayed for us. Your prayers did not go unanswered. Please continue to pray for us as we now face the challenge of raising these boys to love the Lord and want to serve Him with their lives. It's not going to be easy.
Jesus looked at them and said, "With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible." Matthew 19:26For now, this blog has served it's purpose and I no longer find any need to post here. But, if I come across something that I know would benefit others, I will pass along the information. I pray each and every one of you who joined me in this journey were blessed, and would continue your pursuit in finding what it is you feel the Lord is calling you to do, not only in regards to your birthing options, but how you choose to raise your children, or how you will just simply honor Him with your life.
Thanks again for walking along side me on this journey.